In Severus's Eyes
by Foul
Summary: Severus is young and waiting for his life to begin, for an escape from the life he's been living. He wants out of this poverty, of this normality of the muggle world, of this abusive relationship with his father, and of this loneliness he finds waiting for him wherever he goes. He wants the magic of Hogwarts, and to experience it all with his only friend, Lily.
1. Chapter 1

There Severus was, laying on his broken mattress that he had learn to call a bed. He was writing in his leather-bound journal, which his mother had given him as a birthday gift, about his excitement to go off to Hogwarts, how he and Lily had shown each other their acceptance letters just hours earlier.  
He wrote "I feel rather lucky to be going to Hogwarts. I can't wait to get out of this house and away from this muggle world. I feel like a giant among insects around them and the way they live is rather appalling. I bet Hogwarts will have loads of food, I'm so hungry, and I will finally have a decent bed to sleep on. Not to mention I'll finally be around my own kind. And Lily and I are both going together. I hope we get into the same house. I think she has what it takes to make a fine Slytherin, just as I will soon be, even if she is a mudblood." He scratches out mudblood and writes muggle-born next to it.  
The door suddenly bursts open.  
"What are you doing in here?" Demanded his father.  
"None of your business. At least not the business of a muggle." Severus sneered in reply.  
"What did you say you little shit?" His father started as he stumbled towards the bed. "What is this?" He grabbed the journal away from Severus' s struggling hands "Someone got a diary?"  
"Hey give that back!" Severus demanded, struggling to reach the journal but his father was lifting it into the air too far out of Severus' s limited reach.  
"What's this say now? Something about a bullshit school and bullshit beds? What's a matter with your bed? Too good for your bed are you? You're lucky I provide for us or you'd be sleeping on the street! Or perhaps you'd prefer that? Isn't that right you... now that's that say? Prince? Half-Blood Prince? You ain't a prince! Or have I just been mislead your royal highness" his father remarked and gave a sarcastic bow and laugh. "Well this just changes everything now doesn't it?" His father mocked "Now that I've got royalty in the house. Guess you really are too good for this place aren't ya? Can't wait to be rid of you anyhow. All you do is take up room in my house and eat my food, and now you've got the gall to go writing off on how bad it is! And oh what's this? Ohhhh looks like the Prince has got himself a littl' princess."  
At this Severus tried to tackle and wrestle the journal out of his father's hands.  
"My, we've struck a nerve now haven't we?" His father teased. "Aww you're going together? Ain't just the sweetest? Well I've got news for ya, Prince, she doesn't wantcha. Who would? I mean look at you! With a fucked up nose and oily hair like yours, I tell ya, you're not winning many beauty pageants."  
Severus had now gotten to the last straw. He struggled, but finally managed to wrestle to book from his father's grips and raced out of his room with it.  
His father chased him all the way to the front door of their little house and yelled after him "Ya, you better run! But remember, I'll be waiting for you when you get home tonight, your Princeness!"  
"Filthy muggle getting his filthy hands all of my journal and perusing it with his filthy muggle eyes!" Severus angrily swore under breathe as he ran off, tears I'm his eyes and rain starting to pour down on him, towards the only place that ever felt like home. And that was wherever Lily was.


	2. Chapter 2

Severus kept running, though fat rain drops and an unfriendly wind fought him every step. He climbed over the small hills, mountains to him, alone, wet, clutching on to his journal that he held close to his chest under the tattered jacket to which he had grown so accustomed to. He was filled with hate, desperate for her warmth. He continued on for what felt like half an hour and as he came over the last hill he slipped on the wet grass and toppled down the muddy side.  
Now, with mud dripping from his hair and his clothes, he tried to stand up. On shaky legs he stood, but experienced an empty feeling at his chest. He had somehow dropped the journal. He searched frantically in the mud, cursing his father for making him run like this, fresh tears at his eyes.  
But then came a sweet voice out of the darkness. Lily's voice.  
"Severus?" She called. "What... What are you doing out here?"  
He stood there for a moment, almost not believing that she was there, out of all places, there to pick him up, just as she had always been.  
He tried to wipe away the tears, but the redness in his eyes remained, and he sniffed to try and clear his nose so as he could speak without sounding as upset as he was.  
"Severus?" She called again.  
He turned around slowly, not looking her exactly in the eyes as he was still ashamed of writing that she was a mudblood in his journal and of the tears that had been in his eyes. "I could ask you the same" he finally replied.  
"Well, I was looking out of the window and this storm came out of no where and then I saw you, and then you fell, so I had to come." She admitted earnestly. "Are you okay? I mean the fall looked a bit rough." As she said this last part she wiped some of the hair and mud out of his face and away from his eyes.  
"Yeah, I'm... I'm fine" Severus lied.  
"You don't look fine. Severus, have you been crying? What happened? Was it your father again? What'd he do this time?" Lily asked concerned.  
"I haven't been crying!" He lashed as he further tried to wipe his eyes and remove its after marks. "It's just raining really hard and the mud got in my eyes, that's all." He said ashamedly.  
"I know you're lying. You've never been able to lie to me. Now tell me the truth or I won't give this back!" She reprimanded as she showed him his missing journal.  
"Hey! That's mine! Give it back!" He demanded as he reached out for it, but his grogginess from the tears, his anger, the rain and all the running had drained him of his agility so she easily pulled the journal back out of his reach.  
"No. Not until you've told me what's wrong!" She said sternly.  
Severus glared at her.  
"Fine" he said defeated. "Well you're right. Okay? My father hates me, and of course my mother wasn't around to do anything about it. Not that she would, but who could blame her? What woman would want a son like me?" He began to tear up again but fought it with what little strength he had left. He couldn't cry. Not here. Not in front of Lily.  
"Severus." Lily said concerned. "Of course she wants you. You're her son."  
"You wouldn't understand. You've got parents who actually care about you. Who actually love you. I don't, Lily. I've got no one!" A tear escaped his eye and he tried to turn around, hoping Lily hadn't seen.  
Arms wrapped around him. His heart skipped a beat, and suddenly he wasn't so cold anymore.  
"You've got me." Lily said warmly into his ear.  
And suddenly the storm lessened into a calm night. It rained no longer and the wind settled down and the moon shown bright. And Severus felt happy to have a friend like Lily.


	3. Chapter 3

"So... can I have my journal back now?" Severus asked as he broke the silence that had formed as they stared out into the night.  
Lily let go of her hug and said "Oh, this? Of course" she smiled as she handed him back the journal. "It's all yours, mister Half-Blood Prince." She teased.  
Sounding urgent "You didn't read it did you!?" Severus replied.  
"What? Of course not!" Retorted Lily, who sounded offended. "The cover was open to the inside when I picked it up and I saw that it said _Property of the Half-Blood Prince_. You know I'd never read someone's personal writing without permission. It's what I'd expect if you found my diary at least."  
At the idea of Lily having a diary Severus's mind raced with curiosity of what it could possibly contain. Perhaps dreams of the future, her own family life moments, adventures yet to have been had at Hogwarts, or maybe even confessions of a crush. This last thought stuck in Severus' s head.  
"Of course. I'd never betray your trust either Lily. We're too close for that. I'm sorry for..."  
"It's all forgotten." Lily interrupted. "But now what to do with you? I mean you're all dirty and it's getting late and I couldn't let you try and go home now, especially after that fall."  
"It's fine Lily. I'll be alright." Shrugged Severus.  
"No. You're coming with me." Lily replied firmly and grabbed Severus's hand and started walking back to her house. "Don't worry, It's not too far." She said comfortingly.  
Of course Severus knew this as he had been around there quite a bit, more than Lily knew. He liked to be around there. Around her. It made him feel like things were alright in his life.  
"There it is." Lily pointed out into the darkness at a house in the distance, unknowing of Severus's recognition. He probably could of found her house with his eyes closed by now as he had memorized every step it took to get there.  
"It really isn't necessary." Severus said as he tried to pull away. "Besides, it'll only be worse if I don't show up at home tonight."  
"No, it'll be worse if you try to go home tonight and you go missing or get hurt or worse." Lily replied yet again with concern.  
He had to admit, he liked the attention, and wouldn't of minded not having to sleep at his own house. He liked the thought of being this close to Lily as they slept.  
"Okay, now when we get inside we've got to be super quiet. Alright?"  
Severus nodded in reply.  
"My parents are sleeping, and we both know how my sister would react to knowing you were in the house, let alone my parents reaction." Said Lily sounding nervous.  
"Ready?" She asked finally.  
"Yes" Severus whispered.  
Lily slowly opened up the front door and they shuffled quietly inside.  
"My room is just up the stairs and down the hall. Make sure you go into the first door you see on left. Any farther and you may wake someone up." Lily stressed.  
They slowly climbed up the stairs, one step at a time, hoping not to wake anyone.  
They finally climbed to the top and were just about to enter Lily's room when the floor creaked from her parents room.  
"Quick! Get in!" she squeaked as she shoved Severus into her room.  
Her parents door opened and her father stumbled out with a yawn.  
He stopped for a moment, looking at Lily.  
"Lily? Why are you awake? Everything alright?" He asked sleepily.  
"Ummm... yes. Perfectly. Just was, ummm..."  
"Returning from the bathroom." Severus whispered from behind the door, ever so quietly.  
"Yes, returning from the bathroom. So, goodnight." Lily finished.  
"Oh. Ummm, okay. Goodnight then." Her father replied and continued his slow drudge into the bathroom and then closed the door.  
"Phew. That was a close one." Lily relaxed.  
"No kidding." Severus replied.  
"Okay. Now just grab a pillow and I'll get you a spare blanket from the closet and you can sleep on the floor." Lily instructed.  
Severus went to get the pillow and waited for Lily to come back from her closet with the blanket, but not before taking in the surrounding of her room. To Severus it seemed a palace with a lifted bed, many soft pillows, carpet, and no holes or dust balls in sight. There was just a soft, cozy room, the likes of which Severus had never known. Severus spotted her diary on her dresser and was temped to walk forward for a closet look but was refrained by Lily returning from the closet with the blanket.  
"Here you go." Lily smiled. "Now get comfy so we can go to sleep."  
Severus took the blanket and dropped the pillow onto the carpet where he would lay. Lily went and laid in her bed.  
"Goodnight Severus." yawned Lily.  
"Goodnight Lily." Replied Severus. "Oh and ummm thank you."  
Lily smiled and fell asleep. Severus laid there, staring out of the window at the passings clouds, happy for where he was. Before he knew it he had fallen asleep as well.

A knock came from the door, and Lily woke up. She went frantic as he whispered for Severus to wake up, worried he should be discovered, but he was no where to be found.  
"Time for breakfast darling." her mother called out from the other side of the door.  
"I'll be right out." Lily cried out in response.  
As Lily got up from her bed and started to change into her day clothes, she spotted a note on her window sill.  
She reached out and picked up the note. It said "From your Half-Blood Prince." and as she finished reading that, the note transformed into a lily. And Lily smiled.


End file.
